Guilty Pleasures

I've noticed many people post about their guilty pleasures, and I've thought about posting mine.

Well, at least about the ones I'd be willing to post in public.... (admitting that I can accidentally eat an entire bag of Riesen chocolates in an afternoon is highly embarrassing)

So, a guilty pleasure that's kind of funny. Anyone who knows me knows that tv shows are definitely a guilty pleasure for me. I'll sacrifice sleep to catch up on the plotline of a gripping drama (Kevin, thanks a lot for getting me hooked on Burn Notice. No, wait, all sarcasm aside, I LOVE Burn Notice!) .

My guilty pleasure: I often watch just the season finales, because I want to know how a couple of shows turn out, without following the whole season (time consuming and booooring!).

So.... The Bachelor. Yes, I'm admitting that I watched the end of it today, and sort of fast-forwarded through the last few episodes, only watching in places where I was interested. I've done that before, at the end of the "Brad" Bachelor, or Dancing with the Stars, etc.


Ok, so.

1. How does one act like oneself when the cameras are on? I can't imagine, though it appears that Jason was very humble and real about his decisions, just as I saw Rob's turmoil when he realized he was in love with both me and another sweet gal, Kathryn Degaston. Rob never realized that he could be in love with two people at once. At least on camera, Jason appeared to be a good, decent man who really wanted to make the best decisions for his life.

I would never, ever, Ever, EVER put my dating life, or life, for that matter, in the hands of greedy voyeurists. How could I ever be myself or believe that any of my dates were being themselves? I'm telling ya', I'd know those cameras were on.


2. The reason I even posted about this (I crawled out of a warm bed and came downstairs to my laptop to write even though I'm tired and my toesies are cold!):

I am extremely grateful for both the faith and knowledge that I have of God's plan for us, that there is a guidance system in place to help us make life-altering decisions. Both our conscience (the light of Christ in every human being), and the gift of the Holy Ghost/Spirit, are such a great strength and guidance to me when I am making important and/or difficult decisions in my life.

I looked at some of these Bachelor/Bachelorette clips that pop up on Youtube around this time, of people who pick someone, then they end up breaking up, etc, and with Jason regretting that he picked Melissa over Molly, and the grief he went through in the decision-making process. I felt compassion for him (hopefully it's not all just scripted to pull my heart-strings, but who knows).

I feel immense gratitude that when I was trying to decide who I wanted to marry, I had extra help. I didn't have to navigate it all on my own, especially in the 'rough' patches.

As I prayed tonight and then cuddled up to my sleeping husband, the feelings that went through me were so strong and quiet, so much more than lust or even simple love. I feel a deep connection to my husband and truly believe that we are sealed to each other for eternity, something that continues to deepen my love for him even though we're still very mortal and fight hard sometimes. ; )

When I was young and dumb and in love with the idea of love, I also happened to fall in love with Rob. I sort of thought everything would just fall in place, but it didn't (and gratefully so; it gave me a LOT longer to get to know him, and him me).*

As I realized Rob had serious feelings for me in the summer of 1996, and that I was attracted to him (oh. my. gosh. I was so in love it was nauseating to everyone around me), and that he was the man I wanted to marry, I still felt so nervous because it is such a life-long decision to make.

I fasted for two days to know if Rob would be 'the one.' I believe that there are any number of men that I could meet and marry, and live a good life. But I also felt like Rob was the one for me, if he returned my affections. I feel like we fit together, and even though my bad habits drive him nuts, and his social quirks drive me nuts, we fit each other so well.

At the end of the two days, I knelt down and prayed to Heavenly Father, asking if Rob was 'the one.' I felt so giddy and happy I couldn't contain myself, and then after awhile I wasn't sure if that was answer to prayer or me bursting because I was so in love with Rob. So I knelt down and prayed again, explaining that I felt I had received my answer, but I was asking for a confirmation. What happened next was tender and special and very precious to me, as I had a powerful spiritual experience confirming to me that this was indeed my answer.

Once I knew that, I didn't have to worry or regret or second-guess myself. I knew that if Rob decided he wanted to marry me, it was right for me to say yes.

Now, he didn't catch on for several months yet, girls (guys are dumb that way, but that's another post that Rob will cheerfully write for us at one point). But when he did, and when he received his answer to prayer, he couldn't contain himself, either, and we were engaged within the week.

And Rob, I know we often say "I toldja I loved ya when I married ya, and if it changes, I'll let you know," or that we "decided" not to "take each other back" like a simple store-return, but in all seriousness, you're a keeper.

I knew that you were a keeper on the first day I met you in July 1995, when I unwittingly wrote in my journal about you being 'different', and how meeting you opened a new chapter in my life. By month three of knowing you I knew I wanted to marry you.

Thank you for being my dear, darling husband who is truly with me through thick and thin, who treats me with love, tenderness, and respect despite my faults.

Olive juice, honey. Olive juice. Celebrating 12 years in May.





*Tell me if you want me to do a post on our two year courtship etc, but I warn you that I see it in a fairy tale light. : ) .....

Oh, c'mon, just pretend you really want to hear it! : )