Saturday, August 1, 2009


Sometimes I feel frustrated at my trials.

Yet I keep learning that our trials are different. While my trial may to be to parent my children as an emotionally healthy mom, someone else's trial may be how desperately they want to become a mother.

I was frustrated to try for over a year before I got pregnant because it's never taken me that long to get pregnant before. My best friend didn't get pregnant until her 5th IUI (intra-uterine insemination) after already trying normally for well over 2 years, and a friend of mine in Houston tried for 11 years before she had a baby. This week we were grieved to learn that a cousin who did conceive successfully (her first baby), gave birth to a stillborn. Our trials are many and varied. Others among my friends and family members are also still trying to obtain that most precious gift of life.

My cousin, Vaughn, and his wife, Christie, are just one such couple who most tenderly want to adopt a baby. I'll post their letter below. I have bolded some of their sentences for more emphasis. And of course PLEASE contact them if you know of any birth moms who are considering giving a baby up for adoption (or have the birth mom contact them, or contact me if that's more comfortable).

Dear Family and Friends,

We hope this letter finds you well. As you may already know, we have felt spiritually inspired to begin the process to adopt an infant through LDS Family Services. We were recently approved as prospective adoptive parents and are so excited. We are now writing to seek your help as we move ahead in the adoption process.

Through the education classes we have attended, we have become much more informed about the adoption process. We have learned the agency typically does not select the adoptive parents. To the extent possible, that decision is left solely to the birth parent(s). Unfortunately, only 1 to 2 percent of unplanned pregnancies result in adoption. Because of this, there are many more families waiting to adopt than birth parents who decide to place their child through adoption. This means that there is no particular time frame in which an infant will be placed with us.

We have also learned about "designated" adoptions where a birth mother selects an adoptive couple before the birth mother visits an agency. Nearly 30% of birth mothers who come into LDS Family Services have already selected the adoptive couple before their first visit. This is not because the adoptive couple and birth mother knew each other, but most often because someone in the adoptive couple's network of family and friends (ward members, neighbors, co-workers, friends in the community, friend-of-a-friend, etc.) was somehow connected to the birth mother.

We have already had several spiritual experiences during the adoption process and have a strong testimony that our Heavenly Father is deeply involved in this important work. We know that the Spirit can work through you to help us match with the right birth mother.

If you become aware of a birth mother who is looking to place her child in a loving home, we would appreciate your help in recommending us to her.

If the birth mother or anyone would like more information, they may go to our online profile, which provides additional photos and information concerning our background, family, careers, hobbies, and interests.

Anyone can also contact us at (801) 663-6115 or Or contact our caseworker, Deborah Henrie, and LDS Family Services at (801) 979-9128.

We also ask that you keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We are so grateful to have so many loving and supportive family an friends. Thank you for all you do for us.

Vaughn and Christie

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