Monday, February 16, 2009

I'm a Copycat Blogger

It's so validating reading other moms' posts about how real their lives are. I read these blogs, and often think "I couldn't have said it better myself!" Their words resonate with me.

Jane is so clever in comparing motherhood to blogging (for her full post, click here) with her post, "Why Comments Matter."

And, you're all so lucky--I've pasted most of it below (brackets are my own words to personalize Jane's post to me, but feel I've kept the spirit of her post). Thanks Jane for doing all the work! (And I'm lucky to actually know Jane in person; I would have loved it if some of her brilliance had rubbed off on me when we were in AP Biology together in high school!)

Why Comments Matter

Because I already have one job that often lacks in external validation.

Blogging is similar to...motherhood in some...ways.
[M]otherhood, is, at times, unsatisfying because it doesn’t always seem like a real job. It’s the same with blogging. Which is why...bloggy friends to talk with...are important. (And why the lack [of comments] can be...discouraging)

How Stay-at-home Motherhood and Blogging are Similar

9. No paycheck....

[Not in money, anyway. See #3]

8. You’re never finished.

In motherhood, you might count successes like when your kid [shares instead of blames and tattles, or reads "Sign of the Beaver" and loves it. And then 10 minutes later you're shaking your head as he whines and throws a fit over doing his normal chores].... Setbacks and progress are hardly linear. When do you know you’re patient enough, creative enough, wise enough, loving enough, to be a real mother [or blogger]?....

7. There’s no promotion....

6. You can be as serious as a heart attack or as casual as a Facebook friendship.

You can dabble in your blog on weekends or you can set aside two hours every day of sacred writing time.... With motherhood, [the casual is as important as the moments of substance; and sometimes laughing over funny youtube videos with your kids is what they remember, rather than the detailed family night lesson on the importance of spending time together as a family. Plus, if your kids feel comfortable talking to you about trivial things, they will feel more comfortable opening up to you about true trials/triumphs/fears/hopes in their lives]....

[With motherhood, I also feel like when you have 'bad' days, repentence is a marvelous thing. You can always try again tomorrow to be better, and sometimes it's ok to take a day 'off' and read so that you can be a better mother the next day]

5. And worst (or best) of all, you can be purposeful one week, and a complete slacker the next.
4. You can do both in your pajamas.

3. ...[E]xternal validation is important.

[It doesn't have to be much]; one comment from a reader or one smile from a baby [is] enough....
2. [Y]ou ...don’t have total control over the outcome [scary!]. Your blog may be fantastic but just not fashionable [or just not what someone needed on a particular day]. Your mothering may be splendid, and your kids could still turn out to be like Eve’s [darn that agency!]....Doing a good job, a fantastic job, as a mother or a blogger is important, but in the end, it’s up to other people (your kids or your readers) to bring back a verdict.

[With motherhood, b]e purposeful; read and talk with other people about how to do your very best work.... Focus on what you love about the job, and arrange your life so there are more of those moments.... [I actually think this is where motherhood and blogging are different; #5 & 6 for me as a mom are guilt-ridden with goals to be better, but as a blogger I feel like it's a marvelous no-pressure freedom]

....[T]he give and take, the conversation, (and the writing) are what I like best about blogging.

And because there’s one other big way that motherhood and blogging aren’t your typical job:

1. You keep doing it no matter what, because you love it.

11 comments:

Jane @ What About Mom? said...

Thanks for the link love, and I'm glad you liked the post.

It's been great for me, getting re-connected to you and hearing of all your experiences with mothering and marriage that are similar-enough and different-enough to help me think through my own better.

(and yes -- wouldn't it be great if my kids stopped tattling!)

Kimbooly said...

Wow, thanks, Jane. You still are going to be my favorite person tomorrow, as well, for commenting again!

So glad you feel link love and not link rage for me ripping off your profound and witty words!

I love re-connecting with you as well. I will openly say I was intimidated by you in high school because you are so dang smart! So it's nice to know that you're a real person, too.

I think I told you, I'm still intimidated by Billie Jo Baum (Petersen) because she's utterly brilliant and teaches all her kids amazing things all the time, but it's nice to know she's a real mom as well.

Katie said...

I enjoyed reading this post. Thanks for sharing.

Nana (Lonna)and Grandpa (Max) said...

I beg to differ with Jane's number seven. You do get a promotion--you go upwards from Mother to Grandmother--and it gets even better!

Kimbooly said...

You're right, mom. And Jane pointed that out in the original post. It's just hard to see that far down the road when I'm in the middle of the whining and the crying and the pouting and the grumbling and the moaning!

I think the cutest thing I've heard on being a grandparent is:

"If I had known how much fun being a grandparent is, I would have done that first!"

(Yes, I know I'm butchering it. I don't remember the exact words)

WATGNAT said...

If you leave half the comments is it self gratification?

Kimbooly said...

Brig-

Bwahahahahaha!!!

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!

You're right, it does look like I'm over here fudging my numbers by leaving comments in my own comment spot.

As much as I enjoy how user-friendly Blogspot is, and I like its layout, it's not very savvy about comment threads. I'd like it so much better if the comment section was set up more like Rob's live journal account, though I'm not big on the live journal layout.

So every time I respond to a comment (like right now), it treats me like I'm any random commenter.

Thanks for you good-natured jab. I loved it!

WATGNAT said...

I'm not Brig.

Or by calling me that did you hope to get another comment?

dang - I've been foiled

Kimbooly said...

Kevin-

Well, it worked, didn't it? Even if I didn't do it on purpose! I need to get my usernames straight. Brig (short for Brigham, yes he was named after Brigham Young) is Rob's best friend from childhood.

He would totally have made that comment, wouldn't you, Brig?

Kristy Lynne said...

I'm commenting so you know i've been looking in on your blog...and I cringe and the responses of these cake decorators. Who do they think they are trying to sell that? It's kinda like a wedding cake I saw once. I tried to cover the frosting with as many flowers as possible to make it look decent for the reception. The person who bought it was so proud to bring it to the reception. (teal piping instead of green.)

Julia said...

Hey Cousin! I just found your blog and I think that it's great! In fact, I thought so much of this post in particular that I copied it on my blog too. I hope that was okay. You can see for yourself at http://armywifemomof3.blogspot.com/ Well, I'm glad to have found you and look forward to following your blog from now on.
Love, Your Cousin Julia